I wrote yesterday about my fear of being on the internets. Someone insinuated that maybe my fear of social media is really fear of socializing in general. Actually, it was just me still be neurotic. However, I made the assumption that pretty much everyone who knows me would agree that maybe my fear runs deeper. So I called both of them.

One friend hasn’t responded (yet, I’m sure) and I think the other may have switched phone numbers and forgot to tell me, so I had to reach out to family instead.

“Well, you pretty much had a stick up your butt growing up.”

Brutally honest family.

“But, you can act social when you want to.”

Act social. Like Dexter? [Please don’t ask me if I’m a serial killer. It’s just a reference point. And of course I am. Or maybe my sister meant the cartoon laboratory Dexter and I’ve taken this a whole other direction.]

We probably do give off a little Shakespeare, with a touch of Kardashian sometimes, when forced given the opportunity to interact with others. An entire society of little actors minus the cute purse dogs and great hair.

If that’s true, then it’s good news for those of us who experience an unpleasant physical reaction to words like networking, which, by the way, sounds like something that only fisherman or tight rope walkers should be concerned with.

We should rename social interactions to reduce anxiety and confusion for people like me. Let me know if you have any ideas and we’ll petition. And we’ll do it the old fashioned way with letters and signs and sit-ins and maybe some chants that rhyme.

Or, maybe we can just Facebook and Twitter rant to save time.

That reminds me. I have to go. Today is check-my-Linked In-account-so-professional-people-still-know-I-exist day. Checking once per  week is enough, right?