I haven’t written poetry in quite some time, so it was a surprise (to no one else but me because no one else ever knew that I wrote poems or probably cared) that I have two in a row.

They are very different in tone and style. This one is humorish while the last was not…ish.

And this one rhymes. That’s really all have to say about that.

Oh, and I was trying to a write serious article when this gushed out. So, please excuse me while I go apologize to my cognitive side that now has a deadline to meet with a very boring and grammatically correct article about to be overdue.

Until I return (cognitive side is so needy sometimes), here is the result of my mind procrastination.


My wife doesn’t like me to call her that.

“It’s too pay tree article,” she answers back.

I frown at my screen with growing disdain.

Then search for childhood tree trauma to try and ease her pain.

How about “that woman” – is that okay?

“Lover, better half, ball and chain?” I say.

Glaring messages of silence cut to my core.

I return to my keyboard and type some more.

Hey, there are foreign words we could use instead!

Like mi amore, ehefrau, or just plain usted.

She touches my shoulder and leans in close,

You can call me, “That which matters to you most.”

Now, some will misconstrue and consider me weak,

But please know tongue is (fairly) close to cheek.

“Ladies and gentleman, prince and pauper…

“May I introduce my wife, who I will now call…

…Diet Dr. Pepper.”

Diet Dr. Pepper Rules