I have lost focus this month and my thoughts are both random and dysfunctional. Which means they could be any political candidate or an episode of Dating Naked.  It’s a toss up.

Here are a few of those gems. I like to tell my wife these nuggets are her moments of zen. She likes to reply, “Why don’t you just write about it?” I’ve only recently figured out that what she means is, “Why don’t you go share your awesomeness with other people and leave me out of it?”

So, here I am. I’m thinking of getting placards for some of these. Or mugs. Mugs are nice.

Totally a Zen Frog

I used to be the type of person who would stress about whether or not a Threes Company episode would resolve itself, which seems absurd now that we have reality shows where it’s obvious none of those peoples’ lives are ever going to work out.

When I was a child I secretly wanted to have red hair and be Jewish, with no idea why. I once asked my grandfather why were weren’t Jewish and he said it’s because we’re from America. I don’t think he knew what he was talking about. It’s probably for the best since I spontaneously break into Christmas carols regardless of the season. That may be awkward with red hair.

Sometimes I have nightmares that only the cold sweat on my palms remember. Those, admittedly, might be because of the hot flashes. The sweaty palms, I mean, not the nightmares. Although the nightmares might be brought on by the night sweats from hot flashes. I need to write this down for my next doctor’s visit as this clearly explains my menopausal symptoms.

I’ve learned to live in a balance between my fantastic organizational skills and my right-brained creative side. This typically means I draw pictures of a fairies poking hateful people in the eyes with pink and purple candy canes and then index the cards by color. (No, I don’t. I can’t draw very well and everyone knows index cards should be alphabetized, not color coded. )

There are people who state, “Those who can do, and those who can’t teach”.  Those people probably can’t quote who originally said that. I’m sure it’s because they’re too busy doing something extremely important rather than learning something new or supporting education.

Here are some photo moments of zen:

There is totally a road runner in this pic. They're REALLY  fast.There is totally a road runner in this pic. They’re REALLY fast and the same color as dirt and rocks (explaining for those of you that don’t live in the Southwest or near an ACME facility.)

There are NO tomatoes in this salad. Or anything colorful.Zen Salad

It’s kind of freaky… and memorizing.