Spider Chillin' on Coffee TableI bought this Halloween decoration for my youngest sister because she loves the holiday and throws me (and lots of other people, I suppose) a Halloween party every year. It’s also an unofficial tradition that every time I go to the local annual arts and crafts festival I somehow manage to come across something to add to her collection.

I have arachnophobia, but since I had already purchased a table cloth spider web for her the week before, it made sense to walk around with a metal spider to add to it. I put it on our coffee table to temporarily serve as our only Halloween decoration.  (I don’t do the decorating thing myself much anymore.)

The real point of this post is that my son inherited my fear of spiders. Notice how we ignore each other’s questions:

Son: Why is there a giant spider on the coffee table?

Me: It’s not giant. It’s barely Charlotte sized.

Son: That’s the decoration you put out? What happened to the cute scarecrows or our creepy witch?

Me:  I was thinking it needs some babies. Maybe some of those rubbery real looking ones. What do you think? *Shudder*

Son:  You’re going to leave it on the coffee table, right? You’re not planning on hanging it someplace where I could run into it in the dark…

Me: … *Bwaaahaaaa*

Son:  It’s staying on the coffee table, RIGHT?

Here is the resulting places this little fella came to call home this week…

Spider on the Wall
Who me? Just hangin’ around this wall OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM DOOR.
Spider on the Stairs
Chillin’ at the end of the stairs.
You SHALL NOT PASS into your room!
You SHALL NOT PASS… into your room. (You can tell it’s my son’s room by the pile of something beyond the doorway.)

As I was contemplating where I could hang it, per his suggestion, my car alarm went off in the garage. I didn’t even know my car could make that noise. I took it as a sign and decided to stop while I was ahead.

Also, I’m hiding it so that he can’t return the favor, which he threatened to do. At night. In the dark.

P.S. I hope my youngest sister doesn’t read this. Not that it’s a big deal that she knows about this little thing in advance, but still. If you do read this, at least YOU STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT MY COSTUME IS THIS YEAR. (It’s also sort of a tradition for my costume to be a surprise.) Unless one of our other sisters told you, then I HAVE A SPIDER FOR ALL OF YOU.

Bwaa-haa-haa.