Hope you’re having a fantastic autumn. It has the best color palette, hands down. October and November here in the desert have the BEST weather of the year.

Here are a couple of seasonal items from this past week, some are ICMYI, especially if you see anything I post on Twitter or Facebook.

Greetings from the Kitchen

My wife came home this week from some sort of lab coat wearing conference with these plastic pieces of fruit and… and an animated drop of blood(?) I don’t know how they are related, but I’m sure they are distant cousins on the pear’s mother’s side. You can never tell with sciencey types OR pears.

Autumn Kitchen

See how friendly and helpful the blood drop is pretending to be? I don’t trust him for one second. He’s probably the one that stranded my mini-me-in-a-suit-jacket-with-a-mother-fuckin’-wand* lego person on top of that pumpkin to begin with.

Lessons here? Never trust animated drops of blood, obviously, and never leave educational tools lying around where less mature people can find them.

Halloween PumpkinA Halloween Song (because I’m not always creative with titles)

This is a song I made up for my kids when they were young. (Sung to/stolen from that other holiday’s tune of a similar name. You can listen to a very annoying version of it here if you’re not familiar: Christmas is Coming.)

They would take turns filling in (shouting out) their favorite candy where chocolate and licorice sticks are sung. My son later told me they were shouting to drown out my singing. That’s probably true.

O’Hallows is Coming

O’Hallows is coming, the pumpkin’s getting fat,

Please to put a chocolate in the young child’s vat.

If you haven’t got a chocolate, a licorice stick will do,

If you haven’t got any candy the trick’s on you! 

I still sing it every year, even though they’re grown, because now I can insert Rolos and Reese Cups in the song because those are the correct answers.

Spiders are Jerks

If you saw my previous posts about this wayward spider decoration and the benefits of bulk seaweed, then these pictures will make sense. If you didn’t read the previous posts, then they probably still make sense. Because ’tis the season. And because you’re probably easily amused like I am.

The milk is a lot silkier now.
The milk is a lot silkier now.
The box of seaweed is THIS big.
The bulk box of seaweed is *THIS* big. (Eight times the usual size.)  
Heh, heh, heh.
Heh, heh, heh.

Leaf One, Leaf Two

Happy Autumn/October/Halloween, Y’all!

*Cursing is absolutely essential and meaningful in this descriptive sentence. I’m regretting my earlier post about not cussing and am trying to insert back into my daily life. Or, it’s a mid-life phase that I’ll soon outgrow, which is entirely possible since both decisions happened in the same week.