This is a stressful week of testing for  my (semi-adult) children.

My daughter is re-taking the goddamn high school writing proficiency today and also has a mid-term algebra exam (in a college class) later today.

Tomorrow my son has a state (national?) test that will determine if he can continue pursuing his degree in education to become a teacher. A pre-test for the potential test givers, which actually sounds pretty fair to me.

Neither of them test very well. It boggles my mind that they can do well in class then do so poorly on tests. I can’t relate. Tests never bothered me. Except math. Because math is evil anyway.

Volleyball is EVILSide Rant:
 P.E. testing also bothered me. Nay, terrified me. Why do you need to test my basketball skills? You watched me try and dribble all semester. Wasn’t that proof enough? Even the easy stuff was horrifying. Dodge ball is Satan’s idea of grade school fun which morphed into volleyball in middle and high school. How can they expect an uncoordinated person who is barely 5 feet tall to look up at that looming net and not be scared stiff? “Face smack” should’ve been my sporty nickname.

Whenever my kids take tests I still go through the parental checklist and remind them to sleep and eat well, especially my daughter who who once tried to argue the nutritional benefits of candy canes.

I also remind them to study, but at this point we’ve established that my son is a crammer and my daughter needs repetition. I don’t think studying is the problem. Being held hostage in a time crunch with a grade looming while using a brain not fully formed yet is probably the problem.

If two tests in one day weren’t enough for my daughter, we somehow managed to schedule the results of her previous neuro-psyche testing today. We’ll leave for the doctor’s office shortly so they can tell us whether they think she has Asperger’s Syndrome or if she’s just socially awkward and prefers to be alone.

P.S. I hope the creepy wooden dollhouse is still at the psyche office. If so, I’ll try to  take a picture, which would probably be creepy of me.