I spent most of my life thinking that in order to be happy I had to remove all of my negativity. The positive, perky people seemed to possess all the happiness and it felt like I would never be able to harness that kind of outward joy. It took several years and a lot of searching to discover that true inner happiness has little to do with positivity or, thankfully, perkiness.
Instead of replacing negativity with positivity, I developed “negativity wisdom” and learned to effectively utilize my negativity rather than (futilely) attempt to eliminate it. Negatively Ever After shares how we can embrace our natural negativity, the importance of self-adoration in getting rid of the “bad” kind of negativity, and the significant role gratitude can play in the quest for happiness. It offers guidance and hope to those frustrated with being told they must be a Positive Polly in order to be happy.
You can be both negative and happy.
“The truth is, being completely positive isn’t a requirement for happiness. In fact, being completely positive is impossible. It is entirely conceivable that the average negative person may be happier than the annoyingly positively upbeat coworker at the office—you know, the one who would probably say she had a fantastic weekend even if Monday was the first day after the apocalypse.”
“There’s a common misconception that the words happy and positive are synonymous, and that leaves no room for negativity. The reality is that we work in a way similar to a battery: we need both positivity and negativity in our lives, and we all possess at least a little of both. Finding happiness is a matter of discovering the correct positive-negative balance ratio, and each person’s ratio is different. Some of us have a higher capacity for negativity than others. (My capacity, for example, can frighten small children and has been known to wither certain types of desert flora.)”
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Negatively Ever After: A Skeptic’s Guide to Finding Happiness
SEPTEMBER 12, 2017